What is a skinhead? If you're a regular person, everything you know about skinheads comes from sensationalised media portrayals, the many documentaries, talk show brawls, and movies made on the topic. You know that skinheads are bad racists. If you ever meet a non-racist skinhead, you'll explain to them they're just poseurs who are meddling in something they don't understand. Well, if I have accurately described you so far, I want you to roll this zine up and cram it up your ass
-sideways if possible. Thank you.

Alright, the rest of you know the whole story about skinhead history so we can skip that whole thing. The majority of skinheads (not counting Russia) are basically normal people with a tendency toward a few deviations, such as alcoholism, tattoos, music, or whatever else floats one's boat. Not exactly your everyman, but nothing too weird. Of course, that's not what the media tells you.

A long time ago, skinheads were an apolitical counterculture, but I don't have to tell you that, or you would've already had this thing poking you in the prostate as per my instructions. Then some other people decided that the skinhead uniform would be a good choice for their white revolution. This was a new idea that con- flicted with the multicultural roots of the counterculture. And then the media and Hollywood jumped upon it. But surprisingly, they took the side of the white supremacists. Not that Aryans are the superior race or any garbage like that, just the notion that skinheads are race warriors rather than short-haired alcoholics of all colours. Anti-racist movies such as American History X and Romper Stomper were made to reveal the "dirty truth" about racist skinheads.

I take exception to those two movies for their assistance to the white power movement. Sure, the message in the movies is anti-racist, but they're as effective at keeping kids from becoming skinheads as SLC Punk has been at stopping punk or Quadrophenia has been at stopping kids from becoming mods. These respective groups love these movies not for the inevitable tragic ending, but for the name-dropping of their counterculture. Essentially, this sensationalist media portrayal of skinheads as racists makes itself true. Dumb kids consume these media images and assimilate them.

The easiest place to see this is www.skinheads.net, a non-racist and non-political skinhead website that's been online since 1998. Every time after a movie or a documentary airs, there's a new round of dumb racists signing up looking for White brothers who they can vent to about their hatred of niggers. They get banned swiftly and mercilessly, but they keep coming, as predictably as the TV Guide. Just take a look at the capsule movie reviews in the left column, provided by freshcuts on skinheads.net who couldn't hack it when they actually joined a community of real skinheads. These people are becoming skinheads not for a love of the music or for their friends, but because a movie told them how to.

I'm going to review three skinhead movies, analysing the message in each, the accuracy of their portrayal of skinheads, and the effect they've had. Rather than rate each movie with stars, I'm going to rate the movies by chromosome. The normal number per human cell, 46, is a good score. If the score is 45 or lower, or 47 or higher, the movie has about as much luck as a human with that number of chromosomes.

American History X

The main character is Edward Norton's character Derek, a former racist who's trying to give up his skinhead ways. After he is released from prison, he is chagrined to see his younger brother has followed in his footsteps. The young freshcut gets in trouble at school for writing an essay about his hero Adolf Hitler. The movie gets its title from his principal, portrayed by Avery Brooks from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (and probably the closest one to a real skinhead in the whole movie). American History X is a special assignment the freshcut must complete in order to escape expulsion. He makes the kid research black history so he can see why his beliefs are bullshit. Of course these history books make no mention of the Jamaican roots of the skinhead counterculture. I guess nobody thought to research skinhead history so they could see why this movie was bullshit.

But thanks for giving all those dumb kids the idea to shave their heads and sign up on message boards to announce their hatred of niggers to the world.

Rating:

This is England

We follow Shaun, a young, bright kid, as he is welcomed into a gang of skinheads. The first act of the film offers a sentimental portrayal of the skinheads before things were spoiled by politics. To an enjoyable soundtrack of reggae, we follow the skinheads on some fairly common adventures. There's some trouble with the fat guy of the group (there's always a dumb fat guy in skinhead movies), but soon he opens up and they all have a big cry together. Shaun is shaved in and welcomed by the skinheads who buy him clothes and reassure his mom that everything is okay. They have a party where Shaun disturbingly gets felt up by a punk chick who looks at least six years older than him.

Everything changes at the party with the return of Combo, an older skinhead who's spent time in prison. Things start to change, as Combo brings them to a National Front meeting where they're indoctrinated with the usual bullshit that wouldn't seem out of place in the other skinhead movies, but here it's given a historical context. We see the skinhead counterculture as the traditional skinheads are hijacked by white power political groups.

There is tension among the skinheads, and some of them part ways. Their old leader, Woody, is deposed by Combo, and he takes with him Milky, the black skinhead. The tension between Woody and Combo is interesting, especially after Combo makes a move on his girlfriend, but the movie instead focuses on Combo and Milky. The movie reaches a premature climax when Combo gets high and beats Milky nearly to death, in a scene that feels cathartic to the director but leaves the rest of us on the outside. It seems tacked on, like they needed an ending, but there's too much left open.

But believe me--this is good enough for 46 chromosomes.

Rating:

Romper Stomper

The story explores a community of white power skinheads living in an abandoned warehouse in Melbourne, Australia, where they are led by the charismatic Hando, portrayed by Russell Crowe, who we presume prepared for his role by shaving his head. Throughout the movie, he rants about how the Vietnamese are invading their country, and Australia is no longer theirs. Case in point, their favourite local bar, the Railway Hotel, is bought out by a Vietnamese family. The skinheads, upset, go down to sort out this misunderstanding by torturing two Vietnamese boys. They get more than they bargained for when more Vietnamese people show up, and pretty soon they're running for their lives as Vietnamese people spring from every corner and shadow to chase the frightened skinheads from their homeland. It looks like Hando was right all along
-this is a serious invasion! There are no white people left in the city. The movie escapes the skinhead genre and becomes a zombie movie when the tragic heroes of this race war lock themselves in their warehouse, with the Vietnamese pounding their way in, eventually burning the warehouse down and turning the remaining skinheads into fugitives.

What did we learn? The Asians are invading our country, and we must take a stand if we want to protect our homeland from ending up like Hando's dystopia.

Rating:

The Believer

But if you've been around enough skinheads, chances are you've met a few who are Jewish. The skinheads of the movie are ideologically cartoonish charicatures of racist skinheads, although Ryan Gosling does a fine bit of acting here. He's a messed up guy who probably would've been okay if he fell in with a better bunch of skinheads.

Rating:

All I Want/Try 17

Rating:

Skinhead Attitude

Rating:

Yo Gabba Gabba

Rating:

american history X Best movie ever!
-ironman78

best movie has to be Romper Stomper
-its about time you die

I personally loved it Two Thumbs up.
-Kill_em_All

good..i like any nazi/skinhead movie..i want to see part 2.
-badangel

I know this sounds typical but American History X and Romper Stompers [are my favourite movies] but I like to turn em off before they get to the emotional bullshit at the end.
-ktown_sam

Well i liked the music tho romper stomper had better music
-stormtrooper

ROMPA STOMPA its well better
-jonovips

good movie, bad ending.
-shiva

definatly one of the most greatist influenchal movies of all time, too bad danny gets shot by that dumb nigger though.
-reeper9

Awesome movie, just
-- awesome.
-Trinox

i love the fuckin movie!oi oi
-weisse stolz

Oh i loved american history x i think it explans how i live prety much HATE is survival White power white pride
-turtleduck

I thought it was a lame movie. Every Wp skinhead I know had their "leader" that's 33, persuade them to watch this movie and BAM! they were all about WP and killing everyone thats not white. Show it to kids that feel alone and left out and all of a sudden you'll have white warriors runner a muck in a suburban neighborhood thinking their soo bad ass.

So w.e the movies lame as hell however Edward Norton is a hot skinhead
-porcelaindawl